We preachers talk a lot. In fact, we get paid to talk each Sunday. I have found, as I know you have, too, that God’s Word has a way of cutting right through life like a hot knife through butter.
Sometimes God’s Word is so “fitly spoken” (Proverbs 25:11 AMP) that we can’t believe someone hasn’t been looking through our keyhole or reading our mail. Those who hear us preach feel the same way.
Recently a man came up to me after a church service and said, “My wife talked to you, didn’t she?”
It is hazardous to be a successful leader. It is especially hazardous to be a successful spiritual leader. In addition to the fight with one’s ego, there are always the dogged, relentless attacks of the enemy.
These assaults plead for a place in the flesh, longing to look through the eyes of the pastor and count the number of followers. These and many other hazards tempt us to turn the whole calling of ministry into a tragic—albeit subtle—ego trip.
Let me mention some of the pros and cons that accompany a pastor gaining a following.
Every church is the lengthening shadow of those who lead it. Therefore, no issue is more important in any church than having the most-qualified people who model true spirituality serving in leadership as elders. This explains why the lists of qualifications (1 Timothy 3:1-7; Titus 1:5-9) are so strict and demanding. Unfortunately, in most churches of America the method of appointing and selecting those who lead is skewed.
In those churches leaders are chosen by majority vote, having been selected because the candidates are good businessmen or popular among the congregation or wealthy or long-time members or well-known, impressive individuals in the community.
Nice and important as those factors may be, they have nothing to do with whether a person is qualified to be a servant leader, able to guide the flock of God in a way that honors the Lord Jesus Christ.
I remember it well. It was Christmas of 1958, and Bob Hope and his troupe included Okinawa along with other Asian ports in their goodwill tour. I was among thousands of others that evening—homesick for the good ol’ USA, missing my wife and counting the days. When the veteran entertainer sang his closing song, “Thanks for the Memories,” all of us sang along with him as we found ourselves flooded with memories.
(Photo: By Petr Kratochvil. GFDL, http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html CC-BY-SA-3.0, via Wikimedia Commons)
I recall how grateful I was for that tour of duty: the lessons I had learned, the disciplines I had begun to employ (thanks to the Navigators), the books I had read, the missionaries I had met, the places I had visited, the journals I had kept, the letters I had written, the verses I had memorized, even the things I had witnessed inside a Marine Corps barracks (what goes on there, stays there!).
And, most importantly, the call I had received from God to enter ministry.
Pastoring has to be the highest of all callings. In this position, we have the privilege of touching life at its most tender points . . . of walking with pain through its darkest valleys . . . of proclaiming truth in its purest form . . . of confronting sin in its ugliest scenes . . . of modeling integrity through its hardest extremes—while everyone is watching as well as when no one is looking.
It is no wonder to me why it requires a God-given calling before one enters it or why such a struggle accompanies resignation from it.
As we review the memories of this year, let’s remind ourselves of a few essentials that are easy to forget. I’ll list them so that each one might stick in our minds throughout the Yuletide season. Three specifics come to mind.
Suffering is a universal experience. No matter what language we speak . . . no matter what ethnic or economic background we represent, each of us knows heartache. In fact, Joseph Parker, a great preacher of yesteryear, once said it this way to a group of young ministers:
Preach to the suffering and you will never lack a congregation. There is a broken heart in every pew.
—Joseph Parker
I know I don’t need to convince you of that. You hear variations on that theme countless times each week as you interact and counsel with people who need direction and encouragement from God’s Word.
For us, the question is obvious: “In light of my demanding schedule as a pastor, how do I adequately prepare in order to point my counselees toward healing and hope?”
We at Insight for Living Ministries ask ourselves this question too . . . because people continually turn to us asking for answers to their own tough questions. And so, through years of intensive, elbow-deep study of God’s Word and continual involvement with people, we created a resource especially to help the busy pastor.
Counseling Insights touches on 50 of the issues you’ll deal with most in your counseling ministry. Issues related to marriage, the family, the Christian life, as well as personal and emotional issues. You will be able to:
Prepare for counseling sessions by giving you a case study and sample questions to ask
Understanding the issue being considered from a biblical framework with Scriptures specifically related to that issue
Counsel with “tried-and-true” wisdom to help the counselee through the correction, healing, and restorative processes necessary for lifelong emotional and spiritual maturity
Download instantly any or all of the 50 PDFs related to the issue you need for your upcoming session. No waiting!
In this helpful counseling resource, you will not find simplistic clichés or quick-fix solutions but biblically based principles that equip you to offer assistance to those struggling through life’s deepest hurts. See the topics addressed.
My prayer is that Counseling Insights will become a tool that genuinely assists you as you minister to others. You can instantly download individual topics or the entire set at our Counseling Insights store page.
I wrote my new book primarily for you—for speakers in general and preachers in particular. After five decades of honing the craft, I feel that I’m finally ready to put into print much of what now works for me as a preacher and public speaker.
I wanted to communicate everything I’ve learned, but that’s unrealistic. Some things—let’s face it—can’t be put into words on a page; they must come naturally from within. Each of us has an inimitable “style” that is ours and ours alone. But there are some things I mention that might be of value to you; I certainly hope so.
Our own individuality is what makes our message compelling and our delivery unique. Let’s never forget that. From this point on, it’s important that you release yourself from the straitjacket of others’ expectations. Furthermore, you must determine to overcome your fear of not sounding like some other person you admire. You can learn from each of them . . . but don’t waste your time trying to be them—or acting a little like them. That’s phony. The goal, remember, is authenticity. Until you free yourself from that trap, you’ll not find your own voice. I repeat: you are YOU and none other. Never forget that each insight or principle or suggestion—whether from me or another author—must be fitted into YOUR style and YOUR way of expressing yourself when YOU speak or preach.
How I wish someone in my formal education had told me these things! Because no one did, I spent far too much time trying to look like or sound like someone I wasn’t. Thankfully, all that is behind me—and I hope the same is true of you. If not, maybe my book will help to free you to become the preacher God created you to be.
I pray the book is a major encouragement to you and an enhancement of your pulpit ministry.
This week I want to recommend that you spend a few minutes reading a recent interview I had with LeadershipJournal.net. In the brief conversation, I shared a number of my passions for today’s pastors—especially for those younger than me. (Yes, I’m sure that includes most of you!)
I urge you to do more than read the interview. I hope you’ll ponder the words with all seriousness . . . evaluate what I say against the Scriptures . . . and then determine to apply what the Spirit of God impresses upon you.
(Note: don’t miss the valuable resources at the end of this post.)
The church of the twenty-first century needs to awaken from its moral slumber. In this age of “enlightenment,” we have been taught to be tolerant. We have gone soft on the exposition of the Scriptures. We have learned to ignore sin rather than deal with it. We have adopted the flawed notion that God’s grace somehow covers a carnal lifestyle. What a horrible misunderstanding of grace!
Let me be blunt. Far too often within the Christian home, wives are battered, husbands are neglected, children are abused, and dark, shameful forms of sexual depravity occur. As the Prophet Jeremiah said of the people of Judah: “Are they ashamed of their loathsome conduct? No, they have no shame at all; they do not even know how to blush” (Jeremiah 6:15 NIV).
The one vestige of hope in the home used to be the innocent child. But now, not even children are safe. Many are used for sexual exploitation. Children are raped by relatives . . . girls are abused . . . boys become victims of incest. In their own homes, helpless children are molested—and by the very ones who should be protecting them!
Even Scripture reveals such awful carnality among God’s people. After King David’s adulterous affair with Bathsheba, David’s son Amnon lusted after his half-sister, Tamar. Amnon faked an illness and requested that Tamar bring him food in his bedroom. When she arrived, he grabbed her and—because he was stronger—raped her in spite of her resistance (2 Samuel 13:6–14).
Following this abhorrent act, this dear girl was awash in her grief. “Tamar put ashes on her head and . . . put her hand on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went” (2 Samuel 13:19 NIV). When her father David heard of it, “he was furious” (13:21 NIV). But that’s it! He only got mad. David never got involved in the crisis.
When Tamar’s other brother Absalom heard of it, he told her: “Be quiet now, my sister; [Amnon] is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart” (13:20). Can you believe those words? What stupid counsel! Don’t say anything? Keep silent when God’s law says Amnon should be stoned? But what could she do? Her brother said to hush, and her father did nothing. Tamar had no person to go to with her pain.
Both then and now, when such violations occur—with no one to act in defense of the helpless—the child faces a threatening future of moral confusion, personal shame, spiritual disillusionment, emotional scars, and family anger.
Fellow-pastor, it is time we speak up in defense of the helpless. The innocent victims of sexual abuse need a safe place to share their stories . . . and they need direction toward the emotional and spiritual healing found in Jesus Christ.
The world has never provided a safe and secure place from those who would abuse children. That’s why the church must be that place. It is the responsibility of church leaders to make sure the church of God remains a place of trust and respect. A haven where no one is touched inappropriately. A refuge where hurting individuals can confide in a teacher, in an elder, in a pastor, or in an older friend.
I urge you to speak out on this subject and to foster an environment where those who need to talk can share their stories. I have provided below a list of related resources that may help you in your role as a pastor, teacher, and shepherd. At the top of this list is a two-part interview I did with Dave Carder that you can listen to right now. This interview gives us as pastors a much-needed perspective on dealing with sexual abuse in the church and in the home.
I hope you’ll also keep handy a stack of business cards of qualified counselors in your area who are experienced in talking with families and victims about the struggles connected to sexual abuse. Those who come to you need you to direct them to trusted professionals who can walk them through the challenging process of healing. If you’re not sure where to find a good counselor in your area, Dallas Theological Seminary has a Web page that helps you find counselors in your area.
Many today are living like Tamar did, with ashes of shame and humiliation on their heads, weeping aloud with no one to hear.
Shepherds must protect the sheep.
My prayer is that as a result of you speaking out in defense of the helpless, many victims will reach out to someone for help for the first time.
—Chuck
Audio Resources
How Churches Can Deal with the Issues of Molestation
How Families Can Deal with the Issues of Molestation
I have recently been asked to take part in an exciting, free, two-day teleconference for pastors February 27–28, 2008. I want to extend a personal invitation for you to join host Ron Forseth and me as we dialogue on a topic relevant to all pastors: “Crafting Sermons about Great Lives of the Bible.”
Follow-up: You can download the teleconference calls for both days here: February 27 and February 28.
In addition, I have posted several articles from my recent study on Jesus: The Greatest Life of All. These articles apply to us as pastors and reveal how we can face the challenges of ministry with the same fearlessness, perspective, and humility as Jesus did.
