Stuff I’ve Learned, Part 1

I’ve been in ministry a long time. More than 55 years. (Can it really be that long?) In these five-plus decades of serving in the trenches I have learned some valuable truths . . . most of them the hard way. And honestly? I wouldn’t trade truth for youth or for anything else. I really mean that.

Stuff I’ve Learned, Part 1
(Photo: By Toby Hudson. Own work. CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons)

What’s more, I’m still on a learning curve. I’m glad the lessons don’t stop at age 45 . . . or 74 . . . or once you have your last child . . . or when you preach your fiftieth Easter sermon.

It occurred to me that there has been some pretty important stuff I’ve learned these many years. (As far as the things I haven’t learned, you’d have to ask my wife. But let’s don’t go there.) I want to share with you, in no particular order, a sampling from my growing stack of lessons that has been building over the decades.

I’ll give you the first half in this post . . . and the rest next one.

  1. I’ve learned that I should tell people how I feel about them now, not later. Later seldom comes. Furthermore, death has a way of making all communication one-sided. Many times as I have walked away from a funeral, I’ve wished I had told the deceased why I admired her or him . . . or what I appreciated . . . or how much I’d been helped.
  2. I’ve learned that things I’m not even aware of are being noticed and remembered. You wouldn’t believe the things folks have mentioned over the years that have encouraged them. A smile. A glance. An arm over the shoulder. A song sung loudly. A tear. Laughter. It’s really true: small things mean a lot . . . which can be a little scary.
  3. I’ve learned that being real is a lot better than looking pious. You don’t need to worry about making a good impression. You don’t live under a pile of guilt because you’re not perfect. Authenticity keeps you from gettin’ your underwear in a wad over petty stuff that legalists expect. Pursuing holiness is biblical and right. Trying to look holy stinks.
  4. I’ve learned that when you “fit,” most things flow . . . they don’t have to be forced. I learned that from my twenty-three years in the pastorate in California. From the day I walked into the lives of that flock I felt at home. Didn’t have to fake it or act excited when I wasn’t or hold back my opinion or hide my style. I fit, right off the bat. It’s the same at Stonebriar Community Church where I currently serve as senior pastor. I can’t remember ever having to force something to work.
  5. I’ve learned that it doesn’t pay to talk someone into or out of a big decision. We need to let people be. Pushing or pulling creates complications and consequences. Looking back, I can recall a few times I put added pressure on individuals to get them to say “yes” or “no” and invariably, I regretted it. The old gospel song is still true: God still “leads His dear children along.” I’ve learned to step aside and let Him.
  6. I’ve learned that days of maintenance are far more in number than days of magnificence. Over half of any job is just showing up. Staying faithful pays great dividends. Longing for the big-time tingles to occur is a waste. And answering “Fantastic!” every time somebody asks how you’re doing is phony. Most days call for little more than the discipline of staying with the stack.
  7. I’ve learned that some people aren’t going to change, no matter what. This used to drive me nuts! No longer. It was a great moment in my life when I realized I couldn’t win ‘em all . . . in fact, I can’t even fix those who wish I could. And so, I’ve learned to lighten up. It’s a full-time job taking care of the logs in my own eyes.
  8. I’ve learned that I have seldom felt badly for things I did not say. This business of the tongue—ugh! We preachers can be the worst, thinking everyone must hear our wisdom. Please. Occasionally, I have shown unusual restraint and held back. Later, I’ve been pleased I did. Talking too much is never wise. I do mean never.

That’s a good place to stop for now.

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  • Thanks so much for those practical nuggets, they are very encouraging!

  • Pastor Swindoll,
    I have been an avid student of yours for years. Thank you for your obedience to God’s call on your life to procalim His truth. I am crazy about your teaching style and enjoy the books you have written. God has used you in my life in mighty ways. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Sir.
    I don’t remember how I came accross this blog, but I love it! Although I’m not a pastor and I am a woman, I am a one who believes with every fiber in me that God has called me to serve Him in full time ministry through writing and teaching, and I am humbled beyond words that God would call the likes of me to serve Him in this way. I was just a computer illiterate nurse that never dreamed of serving in ministry… And believe me, I remind the Lord often that “I did not sign up for this!” He has called me to do things that I NEVER aspired to do, or even thought about doing in my entire life!! I am serving in Columbus, Ohio as a host of a radio teaching program (Abundance In Him), have authored Bible studies, and am asked to speak from time to time.
    Your words are so encouraging and refreshing to this young servant begining in ministry. I want so desparately to have my priorities in a right place before God… To always prioritize my being in Christ over my doing in Christ… I want to emphasize the heart of the ministry God has entrusted to me over anything we do… In other words, I want the real thing in my life – to know Christ. And I want the real thing in the ministry He has entrusted to me – to serve Christ.
    Serving in ministry can be down right hard. Thing is, I cannot NOT write, speak, or proclaim God’s truth because, well, I can identify with the prophet Jeremiah who said God’s Word is like fire in his bones. I cannot NOT teach Scripture because the Holy Spirit compels me to go forward despite the hardships.
    So while I know I am in the minority of your readers I hope it is ok with you that I follow your blog; I glean so much from your wisdom. I’m sorry this comment is so long, but I have always wanted to personally communicate my appreciation for your time, energy, and committment.
    God bless you, your family, and the ministry He has entrusted to you.
    Jennifer Brooks

  • Kike Torres

    Pastor Chuck.
    I met u at Preach the Word Conference last novembrer.
    You and your ministrie are really a blessing for me, my pastor, and the work that our God are doing here in Mexico.
    This blog (the things taht u learned), come to our lives, just in time, thanks God for that.
    We pray for u, that God keep blessing and using u that way.
    (Sorry for the english)
    Kike Torres
    http://www.semillacuerna.com

  • Judith Michael

    I was listening to you in the car today…I think it was you. There was a phrase used, but I can’t remember it…it was very simple…like “when Jesus is all you have?????and there was another part to it but I can’t remember…could you send that to me? thank you
    judimaun@yahoo.com

  • Hi, Judith,
    You can access all of Chuck’s recent messages on IFL’s Broadcast Library, found here: http://www.insight.org/site/PageServer?pagename=audio_archive
    I think the message you heard was called “Hope Beyond Our Trials.” You can listen to the whole message on the Web site.
    Blessings,
    Wayne Stiles
    Insight for Living

  • As a young pastor just starting out, I thank you so much for sharing your life of lessons learned! – God bless you and your continued service to Our Lord!