Good leaders have affection for people. Paul writes, “Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God . . .” (1 Thessalonians 2:8). Is that great, or what? Paul didn’t shrink from sharing his emotions with his flock. That strong man, an apostle of Christ, looking back on the Thessalonians said, in effect, “Oh, what an affection I had for you. How dear you were to me!” Those are affectionate words of intimacy.
To keep this simple and easy to remember, I want to suggest that affection for people can be demonstrated in two ways: small yet frequent acts of kindness and stated and written words of appreciation. Those you lead should have a few notes of appreciation and encouragement from you by now. They should be growing accustomed to your expressions of affection that include small yet frequent acts of kindness. No one is so important that he or she is above kindness. That aspect of leadership calls for courage and a spirit confident in God’s grace.
I came across a couplet that summarizes this point nicely:
Life is mostly froth and bubble. Two things stand in stone.
Kindness in another’s trouble. Courage in your own.
I’m grieved by strong leaders who consistently walk over people. We wonder how people like that make it into significant places of influence. Here’s some free advice I give from time to time: If you don’t enjoy people, please, do us all a favor, don’t go into leadership! Choose another career stream. Everyone will be better off. Say no when you’re offered an opportunity to lead.
Neither the world nor the ministry needs more bosses. Both need more leaders—servant-hearted souls to lead as Paul led, with sensitivity and affection toward others. Love and affection, when appropriately given, fill the gap when words alone fail to comfort. If people know you love and value them, they’ll go to the wire for you. Paul told the Christians at Thessalonica that he loved them. They never got over it.
Neither will your flock.